Anxiety

Jen Meller
Mar 1
2 min read

Updated: Sep 10

If you’ve spent any time on my site, you already know I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all therapy. We’re all wired differently—and different things work for different people at different times.

That’s especially true when working with anxiety.

When a client comes in struggling with anxious thoughts, physical tension, or chronic overwhelm, I let them know right away: we’re going to approach this gently, and together. I’ll offer tools and perspectives, but it’s their system that leads. That means we’ll pay attention to what actually feels helpful—not just what “should” work.

One of my favorite tools for understanding and working with anxiety is Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS invites us to view anxiety not as a problem to eliminate, but as a part of us—something that formed for a reason. Instead of pushing it away, we get curious: What is this part trying to do for you? When did it start showing up? How is it trying to protect you?

Often, we discover that the anxious part has been working hard for years to keep someone safe. And when we meet it with compassion instead of frustration, it starts to soften.

If IFS doesn’t resonate, we have other options. We might explore your experience through Somatic Experiencing, which brings awareness to how anxiety shows up in the body. Or we might explore Hakomi, a gentle, mindfulness-based method of self-study.We can also look at how your nervous system is wired for protection using Polyvagal Theory—and explore ways to create more safety and regulation from the inside out.