A Gentle Guide to Regulating Your Nervous System

What if the goal wasn’t to feel better, but to feel safe?

To feel your breath. To feel your body. To feel your aliveness — even in the swirl of stress, shutdown, or just a really long day.

Your nervous system is designed to move through waves — activation and deactivation, expansion and contraction. But when stress builds up, or when we’ve been taught to ignore what we feel, we can lose our rhythm.

That’s where regulation tools come in.

This isn’t a quick fix or a checklist to cover, but a way to say: I see you in this. I hope these tools are helpful as you continue on your journey to learning how to regulate your own nervous system. 

What Is Regulation, Really?

Regulation is your nervous system’s way of finding its rhythm again. It doesn’t mean being calm all the time — it means being able to return to center after you’ve been thrown off course.

Think of regulation as practicing a posture of safety — even just a little bit at a time. 

These tools below are ways to offer your nervous system a cue of safety. They don’t have to be big – they simply need to send a message to your brain that you are safe. 

Tools to Try When You’re Feeling…

Activated (anxious, agitated, urgent)

Your body wants to move. It’s trying to protect you by mobilizing energy. Help it complete the cycle with gentle containment:

• Sway and hum at the same time (your vagus nerve loves vibration)

• Try the “Voo” breath — a low, foghorn-like sound on the exhale

• Shake it out like an animal after a threat has passed (start at your feet and go up)

• Do some joint circles (wrists, shoulders, ankles) to restore flow

Think: “I’m not fighting my energy. I’m guiding it.”

Shut Down (numb, tired, foggy)

When your system has had too much for too long, it may pull the plug. These tools aren’t meant to jolt you out — they’re meant to gently offer warmth and connection to your body:

• Try humming — quietly, no melody required

• Use gentle self-holding — a hand on your heart, one on your belly

• Pass an object back and forth between your hands, like a slow rhythm

• Try the “Connecting Heaven & Earth” movement (reach up and down to stretch your field)

Think: “There’s no rush. I’m just inviting the lights back on.”

Frozen Between States (freeze, urgency + collapse)

This blend can feel like: I need to act — but I can’t. You’re caught in between sympathetic and dorsal. Here, we look for small, safe actions that support stuck energy without demanding big change.

• Try the F-Breath (sharp inhale, long soft exhale like blowing out a flame)

• Do slow rhythmic twisting while standing

• Gently track your environment: 5 sounds, 5 objects, 5 textures

• Use resonance breathing (inhale 5, exhale 5) to find internal rhythm

Think: “Small is sacred. Stillness can be healing.”

How to Choose a Tool

There’s no right order. No perfect practice. The best regulation tool is the one your body says yes to — or maybe to. Try something for 30 seconds. If it feels good, try 30 more. If not, pause. Try again later.

Some questions to guide you:

• Do I need to move or be still?

• Do I need to feel more or feel less?

A Final Note on Safety

Sometimes, even helpful tools don’t feel good right away — especially if you’ve been in a survival state for a long time. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means your system is learning what safe connection feels like.

Be gentle. Go slow. And always return to your breath.

Want More?

If this resonates, you might also enjoy my Nervous System 101 resource or joining me for a session — I’m here to help you in the ways that feel supportive on your journey toward healing.