Complex Trauma

Jen Meller
Mar 1
2 min read

Updated: Sep 11

Trauma isn’t just about what happened—it’s about how it felt inside of you.

It’s those moments that left you confused, overwhelmed, or powerless. The times your system simply couldn’t make sense of what was happening. This is why two people can go through the same experience, and for one, it’s stressful—or even forgettable—while for the other, it leaves a deep, lasting impact. Trauma lives in our internal world, not just in the external events.

Complex trauma is a little different. It’s not about a single overwhelming event—it’s what happens when overwhelming things happen over and over again. Often in childhood, when you’re still developing, still forming a sense of the world and your place in it.

It might be growing up in a home where emotional or physical safety was never guaranteed. It might be the experience of being repeatedly dismissed, criticized, or harmed by someone who was supposed to care for you. That’s part of what makes complex trauma so… complex. The people who were meant to provide safety and stability may have been the very source of harm.

This kind of trauma doesn’t just leave emotional pain. It can distort your sense of self, your ability to trust, and the way you relate to others. Because it often happens early in life, when your brain is still developing, the effects can ripple outward for years, even decades.

But healing is possible.

I often tell clients: healing trauma is not about rushing toward resolution. It’s about slowing down. Trauma is, at its core, "too much too fast." So the process of healing needs to be the opposite: slow, safe, attuned to your pace and your needs.

I don’t believe in one-size-fits-all approaches. There is no single tool or timeline that works for everyone. Together, we’ll explore what helps you feel supported and resourced.

Some of the tools I use with clients healing from complex trauma include:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) — a gentle, evidence-based approach that helps you connect with and care for the different “parts” of yourself that may have developed in response to trauma.
Trauma-Informed Stabilization Treatment (TIST) — an approach that integrates neuroscience, mindfulness, and parts work to help stabilize overwhelming emotions and make sense of dissociative patterns.

If you'd like to talk more about whether this work might be a good fit for you, you're welcome to book a consultation here.