What is a Divorce Coach?
Takeaway: Most people hope they never have to experience divorce. However, it’s a reality for many of us-myself included. Through divorce coaching, you can make sense of your emotions and begin to heal.
Divorce is a loss.
When we think of loss, we often think of death. Certainly, a loved one's passing is a significant loss. It's also one of many losses that people can experience over the course of their lifetime.
While each person's experience with divorce is different, it always involves loss. You're losing the relationship you once had, or the one you had hoped for. Perhaps you're losing a future you imagined for yourself and your partner. Maybe you're even losing part of your identity.
Loss doesn't have to be negative. For example, you could also be letting go of old patterns that kept you stuck in a dysfunctional marriage. However, loss does need to be recognized and processed in order to move forward.
Working with a divorce coach can help you do that.
What to expect from working with a divorce coach
Many divorce coaches bring both their personal and professional experience into sessions. Lived experience can be a powerful way to connect and form a supportive relationship.
Many divorce coaches also engage in continuing education and training. This allows them to stay up-to-date on the latest research-backed methods for helping you navigate the difficult emotions that come along with divorce negotiations, child custody issues, and all of the other changes, losses, and challenges that come along with divorce.
Each divorce coach may use different methods. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, Somatic Experiencing (SE), and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) are just a few examples of the kinds of approaches that divorce coaches may use in your work together.
An effective divorce coach will also customize your treatment to your unique needs and goals. Coaching should be a collaborative process where you and your divorce coach work as equals to find what feels good for you.
This looks different for everyone, but some divorce coaches work to help you grow your introspection and self-compassion. Together, you and your divorce coach will gently examine the emotional issues that prevent you from moving forward.
From here, you and your coach will identify the coping strategies, communication skills, and self care methods that will help you continue on your healing path-even after your work with your divorce coach is complete.
What to expect from the divorce coaching process
Healing and growth is a journey, not a destination. Your divorce coach is there to help you on that journey. While each coach may use a slight different approach, there are similarities across the board. Here's a broad overview of how the divorce coaching process may go.
First, you’ll have the opportunity to share your story with your divorce coach and tell them about your goals and desired outcome. Divorce coaches strive to create a safe, nonjudgmental space so you feel comfortable being your authentic self.
From here, you and your divorce coach will clearly identify the areas where things feel challenging, the history behind it, and why it’s coming up for you in this moment. Divorce itself is challenging-plus, it can have many ripple effects on other parts of your life.
Using modalities that resonate best with you, you and your coach will begin the work of going deeper to process the things that need attention. You’ll walk away with a greater sense of self-awareness so that you can continue to process and grow in your journey toward wholeness.
Healing doesn't happen in a single session (or even a few), but your divorce coach will help you find your path forward and give you the tools you need to continue transforming your life.
Who divorce coaches help
Divorce coaches are passionate about helping you process difficult emotions and find peace-no matter where you're at in the divorce process. Whether you're considering divorce, newly divorced, or still trying to make sense of your divorce years after, divorce coaching can help.
You're contemplating divorce.
Most people don't enter marriage thinking they'll get divorced. When you start contemplating divorce, there can be a lot of challenging emotions: shame, guilt, doubt, fear, despair, and maybe even relief. Together, you and your divorce coach will navigate these feelings-no matter what's coming up for you.
You're in the midst of the divorce process.
The process of divorce itself can be incredibly painful, especially in high conflict scenarios or if there are children involved. Dealing with lawyers and logistics is one thing. However, you also deserve support facing the emotional challenges that come along with this process. That's where divorce coaching comes in.
You're trying to figure out what your life post-divorce looks like.
Divorce changes everything: your hopes, expectations, relationships, day-to-day life, and even your identity or sense of self. Divorce coaching can help you make sense of their experiences and find a path forward.
FAQs about professional divorce coaching
Working with a divorce coach is a new experience for most people. Here, I've answered some of the most common questions I hear as a divorce coach.
What's the difference between working with you or with a certified divorce coach or other divorce professional?
There are many different kinds of divorce professionals, so it's important to find one that fits best with what you're looking for.
Some people prefer to work with a CDC Certified Divorce Coach. In order to receive a divorce coach certification, these professionals complete a 90-hour divorce coach training. Once they've completed the training program, these divorce coaches can help you navigate the logistics of the process, including communication techniques and conflict resolution.
Other divorce professionals include family law attorneys, financial advisors, and meditators. A family law attorney can help you navigate the legal process of divorce, including custody issues. A financial advisor could help you with any of the financial decisions that come with divorce. Finally, a mediator helps resolve disputes and other conflicts.
While all of these services are important, my practice focuses on the emotional side of divorce. Your feelings, sense of self, and personal growth are just as important (if not more!) than the logistics of the divorce process. You deserve support in this experience, and I'm honored to offer that.
Where can I find divorce coaches near me?
Many people experiencing divorce don't know where to turn for emotional support. I know that feeling firsthand, which is one of the reasons why I started my coaching practice.
If you're interested in support with the logistical challenges of divorce, you can find a CDC Certified Divorce Coach through their directory. The National Association of Divorce Professionals also offers a directory that can connect you other services and professionals.
What will I talk about with my divorce coach?
No two healing journeys are the same, so your divorce coaching sessions will be tailored to you. At the start of the process, you and your coach will identify your goals and how to get you there. From here, you and your coach will structure sessions in a way that makes most sense for you.
With that being said, there are many common themes amongst divorce coaching clients. Many of the people who seek divorce coaching end up processing emotions around the following stressors and life changes that come along with divorce:
Shifting identity and sense of self
Changes in relationships with extended family members
Emotions around the difficulties of co parenting
Uncertainty around the future
Navigating divorce-related loss
Working with a divorce coach can help you make sense of your next chapter.
Divorce is a highly vulnerable time. However, it's also an opportunity for deep reflection and personal growth. Our sessions can provide you with the time, space, and encouragement to start this journey and emerge with a forward-looking mindset full of hope and possibility.
I opened my coaching business after my own divorce. It was the most difficult, painful decision I had ever made-and it was necessary. Sometimes, our toughest choices bring us the biggest opportunities for healing and growth.
This was the case for me, and it has been with many of the clients I've helped. Big life transitions-such as divorce-are inflection points that encourage us to turn inward and reflect. What's important to you? Where do you go from here? Who are you, really?
Here's the good news: you already have all of these answers inside you. With a little support and guidance, you can reconnect to your sense of joy and purpose. It was possible for me, and I know it's possible for you, too. My divorce coaching practice is dedicated to helping people like you-like us-get the support needed to thrive, even amidst this difficult season in life.
If you're ready to get started or simply want to learn more, I encourage you to reach out. I offer free consultations so we can get to know each other and see whether we might be a good match. I look forward to hearing from you and getting to know you.